Mastering the Art of the Coffee Chat

Isabelle is a recent MBA graduate, specializing in Global Business, Strategy and Product Management. Prior to Stern, Isabelle was a consultant at Accenture specializing in the life science industry. Post-MBA, she is about to start working for Samsung Electronics as a Global Consultant . At Stern, she was involved in the leadership of Asian Business Society, Student government, Stern Technology association, European Business association and as a member of the Latin American Business Association, Stern Women in business  and the admissions office as a Graduate assistant. 

I came into Stern knowing I wanted to work directly with a product in an innovative field, but like many people who join as first years, I was also looking to learn and explore. While I was secretly hoping someone would be able to tell me my dream job, real life is not that simple – it never really is! But Stern gave me every opportunity to explore. 

Even before you start school, you begin hearing about the importance of recruiting. You receive the Ignite prep and begin chugging away. A lot of information is thrown your way but you keep hearing the same two words: Coffee chats. 

As someone allergic to caffeine, I was less than enthused by the idea of chatting with someone over coffee. My nerves continued to grow as I pictured a potentially  awkward conversation with an industry leader, while I sat there with a cup full of coffee, easing my nerves by pretending to sip every so often to have something to do with my hands. Beyond the awkwardness, coffee chats or informational interviews invoked an image of small talk and desperation. To say the least, these “chats” were not something I was looking forward to.

Now however, I now easily have a coffee chat a day, even after the end of formal recruiting. This change is completely thanks to Stern and the students I recruited with. Almost every alum, student, professor, or professional I reached out to has replied eagerly to share advice, experiences and sometimes (when I was really lucky), even an interview or job opportunity. In an effort to ease your nerves, I thought I would share my learnings about coffee chats!

Rarely any coffee 

This may be silly to say or obvious to some, but coffee chats often don’t involve any coffee. Today,  many coffee chats today are virtual, and if they aren’t, you are always welcome to get another beverage!

Networking is not a dirty word

Often people feel like networking is superfluous because it conveys that you want something (in this case, a job), but that’s not all networking is. Yes, when you set up a coffee chat, you should be the best version of yourself so that the person on the other side will help you, but the aim of the conversation should be to learn about the person you are talking to- whether that is about the company they work for, their interests, or what they did before. In the end, you should aim for the conversation to be as fruitful for them as it was for you. It is a give and take. My best coffee chats were those in which I was able to share my experience with the industry professionals to help them with their own questions or problems. 

As an example, when I was networking with a large bank, I met someone who had the exact position I was interested in. We spoke about the job and the company, but even more so we spoke about what we liked to do, I talked about my community and non profit interests, and they asked me to help them find a way to give back. This person became more than just someone who helped me get an interview, they became someone who I still connect with for advice. 

Coffee chats are not always just a one time thing

The goal of a coffee chat should not just be a one-time conversation to learn about the company, it should be about you growing your network. If you are able to form a more lasting relationship with that person, it makes a big difference – not only in recruiting, but in many areas of your life. 

Remember, industry professionals are just people 

We all often walk into coffee chats nervous and lost. “What do I tell this stranger about myself?” But often, the other person is feeling exactly the same way. They may have just come out of a long meeting or were just concentrating on a task at work. In the end, they have given up their time because they want to be of help, so make sure you come in with questions that will help you most.  

I have been and still am on both sides of the coffee chat, and what always goes through my mind is the airport test. Throughout this conversation with this person, have they given me a sense that I would like to spend 5-10 hours with them in an airport if we were to get caught in delays? So remember that the person is human, have empathy, and build a human connection.

Coffee chats are not always conducted one on one 

Sometimes, coffee chats during recruiting include multiple people with one industry professional. When this happens, make sure that you stand out in some way. Have a list of questions you want to ask and do your research on the person. Always ask for their contact information and follow up to see if you can get a solo chat. 

Lastly, Stern is always there to support us 

Every office at Stern comes together to make sure that you are prepared for recruiting. Stern Career services constantly provides you the opportunity for you to make connections, bringing in hundreds of companies to speak with students. The professional clubs like Stern Tech Association and Management Consulting Association lead knowledge transfer sessions and study groups to prepare you. Other students and professors give up their time to practice with you and give you advice. So take advantage of it!

Key Takeaways

Keeping these things in mind really helped me reform how I looked at coffee chats. Now, everyone is going to have different advice for coffee chats – a former Sternie wrote her advice in 2021 –  but mastering the coffee chat is really about understanding yourself and how to present that to the person standing in front of you. These are some tips that helped me feel comfortable  while growing my network. 

1.  Always ask for the coffee chat host’s contact information 

Make sure to get their information before the end of the coffee chat and send a thank you note afterward. Often, it is good to ask near the beginning or middle of a group coffee chat, but if you are alone, leave it for the last question. 

2. Be genuinely curious

People like to talk about what they are doing – so ask them about it! Make sure to do your research and prepare questions ahead of time. While the conversation can go in any direction, preparation will help you stand out and make the most of the conversation.

3. Look at each coffee chat as a first step

You will rarely only speak to one person at a company. So use each coffee chat as a chance to research for your next one. Ask questions like “what is the biggest challenge your team is facing” or “where do you see the company going in the next year” or “what is the most exciting thing your company is doing?” This way, you hear real-world problems companies face today and will be ready for your next chat and, eventually, interview! 

4. Not all coffee chats are evaluative, but you should prepare as if they are 

Always research before a coffee chat and show your commitment. You never know how the conversation will impact your future career.

5. Be direct 

When you ask for time, be direct in what you hope to speak about so that the person knows exactly why they are meeting with you. You don’t want to use their time asking questions you could have learned on the website!

6. If you have the choice, choose a place in which you are comfortable 

Many coffee chats are done virtually now, so make sure you pick a place that you feel most comfortable. If the person gives you the option of an in person chat, take that option because it often leads to better connections. Choose to meet in a place you like that is quiet and also not too expensive, often they will pay out of their own pocket for you. 

7. Never leave a conversation without having at least one other person to reach out to

You can not build your network unless you ask for more contacts. I like to ask every person I talk to for 2 other people who I should contact based on the interests I have expressed during our conversation. 

8. Be you

As someone who has been on both sides of the coffee chat, it is so easy to see when someone is not being genuine. Remember the airport test-  I want to be able to tell if I would like to spend time with you. The more I want to spend time with you, the more helpful I can be. 

Just be yourself. I promise you, the other person will appreciate it.

How Stern’s Community Embraces New Students

Gustavo Valverde Rezende is an MBA2, originally from Brazil. He has a Bachelor’s in business administration from Universidade Federal de Juiz de Fora and a Master’s in finance from IBMEC. Before joining Stern, Gustavo worked in management consulting, public management, and corporate finance before joining Eureca, a purpose-driven startup, as Chief Financial Officer.  His latest job was as Strategy & Finance Leader at Grupo Anga, Eureca’s parent company, overlooking a portfolio of six purpose-driven companies. This summer, Gustavo worked as an Investment Banking Summer Associate at Credit Suisse in New York.

Moving to NYC

Moving to NYC can be intimidating, especially if you are coming from a small town, like myself. Looking from my childhood home, the city looked chaotic and hostile. I heard about how hard it would be to make friends and was scared I would never feel at home there. 

Fast-forward two years, and I am in love with NYC. I have very good friends, call the city my home, and can’t think of living anywhere else. How did this happen?

The first challenge I overcame was moving to the city. Before setting foot in NYC, I made a few friends at Stern through admitted student events and reaching out to student clubs (like the Latin American Business Association). They have advised me on good neighborhoods to live, the timing and procedures for renting a place, where and how to furnish my house, and even on budgeting. Some of these friends are neighbors and make a great support network.

Making Connections & Friends

The second challenge was making the city my home. I needed basic stuff, like a bank account, and other not-so-trivial things, like a good group of friends. Here’s where Stern’s community was huge. Even before being in NYC, I had spoken to so many people in the program that I felt I didn’t start from zero. So many nice people had reached out to me, introduced me to their friends, and replied to my blind approaches that I felt welcome.

When I got to the city, my new friends were amazing at introducing me to new people and making sure I felt a part of their social circles. My classmates also put together a lot of social outings, which helped make very close friendships. Nowadays, I have a bunch of friends both in the program and in the city – a social life that is more intense than I had back home.

That is when I realized one of the main benefits of living in the most global city in the world: you find anything you may need or want. Do you want to play golf? Or cricket? Maybe soccer? The city’s got you. If you are not into sports, Stern student clubs will help you find wine lovers, culture buffs, or k-popers. Feeling home-sick? Enjoy regional clubs and benefit from the city’s many regional social networks. In my case, I eat feijoada, have açaí, catch every single Cruzeiro game, and speak as much Portuguese as I want with a ton of Brazilian friends I made in the city.

Preparing for Recruiting & Making a Career Change

Finally, to make New York really feel like home, I needed a job. That is one of the most stressful parts of the MBA, but Stern had  me covered. Professional and regional clubs will help you build a professional network, get the coffee chats and interviews you need, and find your internship. In my case, the friends I mentioned above mock-interviewed me and gave me candid feedback – even a few tough ones to hear – ultimately enabling me to get my dream job at Credit Suisse Investment Banking Division, in the M&A team. I can’t stress enough how important fellow Sternies were for my career transition. 

I know first hand it can be intimidating and tough to move to NYC. But with a little help from my friends, I built everything I needed to call NYC my home. It is still crazy to realize how much this place feels like home. And yet, here I am, sitting in my childhood town and feeling homesick. I can’t wait to be back in the city.

The International Experience at Stern

I came to Stern exactly 14 months ago. Stern in many respects was a great next step for me – a chance to explore new careers, a chance to explore new subjects and learn about things I never imagined I would learn (aka Behavioral Finance). But most importantly, it was a chance to explore a completely different culture than mine.

I am from Delhi, India. I have never ventured far from home. My high school and undergrad school were 15 mins away from my home. Even my work was a manageable 40 minutes away so I never had a compulsion to move away. Coming to Stern, and by extension New York, was a giant next step in my life. It was the first time I have ever lived away from home. When I stepped off the plane and wandered around New York on my first day here, I was swept with two feelings – that of awe and a sweeping reservation about fitting in.

One fact that a cursory research will show you is that Stern has a very diverse student body. In fact, international students make up 30 – 37% of the class in any given year. Knowing that gave me assurance that I might be able to experience a new culture while still staying around people I am most familiar with.

In my first month here, I held a small dinner gathering for all the Indian students at my apartment. Fun fact: The smoke alarm went off seven times while I was cooking! NY apartments are not built for Indian cooking! Barring that mishap, that evening, I made new friends and started developing a sense of community here.

The most amazing thing about Stern is how every culture is embraced with open arms here. We had Passport Day in which students from 47 countries around the world participated! There was great joy, laughter and dance. A lot of people showed up and shared each other’s food and culture. It was just one of those many things that show Stern’s emphasis on diversity and inclusiveness.

Last semester, SABAS (South Asian Business Association of Stern) hosted a Diwali party. Over a 100 people attended that event, dancing, laughing, and sharing my culture. Last Diwali, I felt incredibly home sick and regretted missing out on all the festivities back home. This time around, as I was leaving the party at the end and walking towards the subway, I discovered a new feeling. A feeling of being right at home.